How...

No matter how far I go away from your presence
I am still aware of it
Aware that no matter how great the distance I run
Your work on me has just begun

I am like a child who does not know enough
yet still stomping my feet to get what I want
Childish rage on my sallow face
Feltless tears that leaves no trace

Do I know what I want?
Is that the question I should ask?
Do I know what I ought to want?
Can I know how to get what I ought to want?

Thirty... how swiftly time has fluttered by
I am here for such a time as this
Yet.. what have I done?
Have I done anything of worth?
Or is everything like dross?
Worthless, useless, to be trampled on the ground

How far must I go?
How deep must I delve?
How painful must it be?
How much more must I see?