Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I am pregnant with twins!

It's official. I have twins!....And I have lost 10 percent of my body weight due to the 'all day sickness' in the last 7 weeks. I am now at about 45kgs (considering i am supposed to have put on 3kgs by the 3rd trimester... this is terrible! But doctor assures me that this is normal with people who have twins).

I have noticed that my eyesight is going too.. probably due to dehydration. Not too severe.. I still go to the toilet once in while but this is the first time, this leaky bladder person has gotten up in the morning and does not go the toilet to urinate. Most of the time, before I end up in bed at night, I spent a lot of time throwing up whenever i ate or drank 2 hours prior to that... so guess not that much fluid stays in. And everytime I drink, I will throw up... yucks! Plain water has become such a torture to drink.. and I used to only drink plain water. Now, all my drinks have to be laced with sugar... Ribena being my favourite!

I wished someone had insisted that I cut my hair short the moment i got pregnant. Now, with the debilitating nausea and vomiting, I have hardly any energy to shower or wash my back length hair. What a torture. The moment my nausea lifts, I am going to chop it off (as much as I dare without incuring Hubby's delicate sensibilities about my lovely locks).

Many times, I feel like crying.. and sometimes.. actually about 3-4 times I did... the vomitting is so painful and heart wrenching. Going through the violent reaction of the body heaving up and down during a throwing up session reminds me of dying. And also like running a 100m sprint at each chuck-up. I feel so breathless and most times I just collapse on the toilet floor trying to regain my breath. Sometimes I am so helpless that all I can do is pray. Oh God, please take this cup away from me... yet not my will but yours be done!

Don't get me wrong.. I am happy with this pregnancy.. and the happy twins. It's just that I had not imagined the morning sickness to be so bad. My gynae reassures me that this is normal for a twin carrier and has prescribed 3 types of antiemetic and antacid for me (Maxolon, Citamedine and Milk of Magnesia). Somedays, I am good without throwing up but the nausea is there which prevents me from eating much except rather plain porridge, salty wheat crackers and an occasional half cup of Milo (even that.. my body rejects the milk in the Milo). Other days, even with the antiemetic, I still throw up like no tomorrow.

I had decided to get help from the doctor when one day, I had 10 sessions of throwing up in my 8 week. Then even with the medication, in my middle of the 9th week, I had 20 sessions of chuck-up. It was truly very horrifying to see blood in my vomit and feel the pain in my chest or whatever part that was engaged in the vomiting. I suppose, I would have been superwoman to not have cried during this time. I must however attribute my fortitude to the fact that I was not working and need not feel mega guilty about not being able to give my best to my work.

I thank God daily for allowing me the luxury of not working in this stressful time of my life. God.. U know how much I can bear.... thank you for carrying my cross!