Monday, February 27, 2006
My ex-boyfriend's wedding
Gee... sounds like My best friend's wedding.
He was exactly as I left him.. ok I did not leave him. We mutually agreed to leave each other. But he looked like he did when we parted. It's as though we never said goodbye properly but the fact that he was getting married was goodbye enough.
One of my friends asked me if I ever regretted not carrying on the relationship with him. I think that the answer depends on a few things - if I was still single.. I may feel a little bit of regret.. ok a lot of regret... he was/is a good man.. someone whom I would recommend to anyone (however given the state of events it would not be nice if your ex-boyfriend dates your friend whom you have recommended).
However since I am already 'safely' knotted............ And in the safety of current life... my thoughts drifted to the myriad reasons why it did not work out with us. So many reasons.. some of which are revealed to me as the years went by. Simple, small reasons...(the bigs ones were obvious then)... that only creep up on me. Sigh! Relationships are so tough. You thought you found the right one only to discover that when you dig deeper through the surface things are not what it seems. I am glad that we were honest enough to discuss 'real issues'. Issues that I am thankful I did not sweep under the carpet.
His bride was a sweet, fair faced, bright eyed and petite lass. Everything I am not.. except for the petite bit -- but but she is smaller than I. I wondered if I would have liked her. (Someone told me once that you will hate the person who has your personality) I did not say anything much to her.. wonder if she even knows who I am... of course she would... so perasan I.
I was surprised when he invited me. I made up my mind to go even without Marido (Marido was away- again!). To my glee, half the PERKEBians were there. And the church members turned up in full force. As you can imagine, I had a ball flitting from table to table. One of the church members commented "Eh.. did he hire you to do PR??". Hmmm.. I think that if I DID NOT move around, these shy people from his church will not come over to talk to me.
It really has been such a long time since these old friends saw me. To them, I had changed a lot (physically). I had comments like "Oh dear... cannot pinch u anymore!", "what happened to you.. stress is it?", "Wow,.,. what is the secret?" and the strangest "Do you want a compliment or should I tell you the truth?"
At the end of the dinner..all I thought of was that it was gracious of him to invite me to enjoy myself with people whom I had spent 3-4 years of my life with during my younger days... And I remembered to whisper a prayer "Let him be happy... content and loved!"