Sunday, April 13, 2008

Can't believe I am going to be a mother

Yesterday, while rubbing my belly with Bio Oil (for prevention of stretch marks and itchiness), the reality of becoming a mother hit me. The babies were moving quite a lot and I could feel them either pushing the uterus with their hands and legs.. what an amazing feeling.

I wonder about these 2 beings - who are alive and literally kicking in here. Wonder how my life will be like when they are out. As it is, my world revolves around them..
I can't go out much cos it hurts to walk to much,
I am not at the office working as climbing stairs may trigger contractions,
I find myself breathless all day (heart beat close to 200 per minute1-normal heartbeat is about 60-100 per minute) as the medication makes me feel this way, but I gotta take it as it's a tocolytic (prevent premature labour)
I can't eat much as they are crowding out my stomach,
I can't stand when I washing my hair as it gets painful,
I am scratching like a cat cos somehow, the body is finding it hard to cope with all the changes,
I tend to read more materials on pregnancy and baby raising cos I am a first time mummy and need all the help I can get,
I find getting comfortable difficult due to my burgeoning size,
I knock my tummy into things (and it hurts) as I underestimate the sheer size of the belly,
I waddle like a duck and look totally ungraceful cos of I can't seem to close my legs when I walk
I find my eyesight deteriorating, probably due to the hormone changes,
I roll my eyes every time my neighbour Matthew does a "Woah! Look at that size" when he sees me,

Sometimes when I look at my belly in front of the mirror, I am just bowled over by how the body is capable of keeping something akin to a huge watermelon in it. All round and smooth. The incredible ability of the body to sustain life... I am awed by the creation of God. How can anyone say there is no master designer..? I am so aware that each day I live and breathe, it's by His grace.

Well, not long to go now. Before I know it, they will be out, grown up and live their own lives and I will be wondering where the years have gone. But as for now, I am learning to appreciate the last few moments left of the pregnancy. It's tough, but not as tough as the 1st 3 months of the pregnancy. Nothing I have ever faced compared with that trauma of throwing up and feeling like I am losing my life. I wonder if I dare to venture that path again.

Well, here's to life and more lives.....

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